Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Welcome to Ukipland: A nightmare vision of Britain under Nigel Farage's leadership - by Kevin Maguire


Mass unemployment, few rights for those lucky enough to still have a job, a privatised NHS, legalised handguns, dearer holidays, Is this the Britain you want?

Bad news: Britain would be hell under Nigel Farage
Imagine the Prime Minister’s bulletproof Daimler pulling up outside No 10 and out steps Nigel Farage.

The purple-faced PM’s a little unsteady on his feet after a boozy lunch in the City.

Bankers wanted to thank their wide boy chum turned patron for his gift of a whacking tax cut for Britain’s millionaires.

Farage was happy to be among friends in the City because it isn’t going well.

Patients are besieging hospitals after the wholesale privatisation of the NHS was an expensive disaster.

Imposing a charge to visit a GP proved costly when people didn’t and minor complaints developed into life-threatening illnesses.

Then there are the low paid workers furious after Ukip let bosses scrap paid holidays.

And new mums are in tears after maternity rights were abolished so they must be back at work the week after giving birth.

Quitting the European Union isn’t the picnic Farage mis-sold to voters.

Unemployment’s soared since Nissan, Toyota and Honda announced they wouldn’t invest another penny in Britain.

US President Barack Obama skipping Britain on his trip to Europe was bad enough.

But the leaders of Brazil, China and India? Their preferring Brussels to London was hard to take.

Holidaymakers are miffed too now they’ve lost cheaper mobile calls from the poolside in Spain.

Probably just as well they’re not going to Magaluf this year. The queues for reintroduced passport checks are unbearable.

Banning other Europeans coming to Britain no longer sounds great when thousands of Brits returned from Spain to shout at our waiters.

Crime’s up after handguns were reintroduced and the armed guard at the gates of Downing Street had to be doubled.

Chelsea fans hurled only insults when Farage’s Daimler sped in; limiting Premiership teams to three foreign players saw Eden Hazard’s departure and stranded Thibaut Courtois at Atletico.

Imposing dress codes in restaurants sparked a social backlash after a brickie was informed “Sorry Sir, you can’t come in here. You’re an oik” on a night out with his missus.

Taxi drivers are no longer laughing after a tie and shirt was made compulsory.

I’ve read the last Ukip election manifesto.

Welcome to Ukipland, a nastier country.

The Mirror
Read more from Kevin Maguire here